What’s actually in the here and the now

In my last post, I shared that I was feeling the call to slow down, to get quiet and sit in the stillness. 

So I did. I slowed, quieted, and listened. I let myself really be still.

What emerged honestly took my breath away.

From the quieter vantage point, I realized something remarkable:

I am living inside the very dreams and visions I've been holding in my mind's eye for the past decade.

Every last one of them. Including the most recent, leaving my corporate job to spend more time with my girls and build my own practice. For years, in intuitive readings or journaling sessions, I was asking about this exact life. The relationships, my work, the environment, and the way it all feels.

And yet, even though I thank God every single day for my life and its bountiful blessings, the wholeness of it all didn't fully land until I slowed down enough to actually see it and feel the deep gratitude in my body. 

Part of what kept me from fully appreciating this moment was the habitual belief that I'm headed toward some kind of “final destination”, where everything would eventually feel “settled” or complete.

And the reality is, my family and I are far from feeling settled.

Not long ago, we were a dual-income household supported by steady paychecks, benefits and the cushy illusion of security that comes with them. Now, my husband and I have both stepped into a professional void of unknown (at the same time) with two small children.

 The stark contrast of certainty to uncertainty was jarring to my nervous system, despite me literally “manifesting” this freedom and creative space.

From this place of unknown, I found myself rushing forward, striving, and trying to build at warp speed. Keeping my nervous system in a perpetually heightened state.

My vision stayed fixed on what was next, rather than what was already here.

So I turned my attention back to the now. I let myself really sit in the present moment and take in the beauty of what already exists.

 That's where I've been for the past few weeks, just letting it all land.

Until recently.

Over the past few days, I felt another wave roll in. One pulling me toward what's next.

With the year of the Horse and eclipse season beginning today (February 17), the energy feels like big forward momentum. It's been showing up in my dreams, my waking visions, in the collective energy around me - sometimes landing in my body as restlessness or anxiety (you fellow sensitives know what I'm talking about).

 It even showed up in a recent client session when I was asked:

“Have you ever felt like the thing you fear the most is actually the gift God gave you to work with in this life?” 

So often, what we resist and fear is the very path we're being guided toward.

The Year of the Horse

This year carries fiery forward-moving energy. In the Chinese calendar, the Horse paired with the Fire element amplifies momentum, visibility and bold embodiment.

It is an upgrade cycle. You've held the vision. You've taken the baby steps while building behind the scenes. And this year, IT'S SHOWTIME BABY. It kind of feels like when your phone updates overnight and you wake up to a completely new and elevated interface.

This is a year of embodiment, of stepping onto the stage as the version of you that you've been rehearsing for the past several years. You may still feel the fear, but the calling to jump in both feet is louder. 

The Eclipse season

Eclipses are accelerators. 

They clear what no longer fits and often mark big transitions, endings, beginnings, sudden pivots and fresh chapters. Think engagements, marriages, break ups and divorces. Big moves, new homes. New roles, leaving jobs. New life. Dropping old identities, gaining fresh perspectives.

This particular eclipse season feels like a season finale episode of The Hoarders. Where the team goes in and uproots the person's life because their house is covered floor to ceiling with trash and 47 feral animals running around. In other words, it's about to be a BIG purge. People, habits, home clutter, digital clutter, self narratives - nothing is safe from the dumpster pile. 

This of course is to create space for the next big version of your life (read Fire Horse), so let the old burn. Good riddance.

Start tuning in.

With this eclipse season, what big endings and beginnings are unfolding for you?

With the Fire Horse, where are you being pulled toward?

And where does fear show up as a clue toward your purpose?